Surviving Motherhood : Love Your Curve

I never really talk about it before but just like the rest of you out there, I went through some serious body issues throughout my motherhood journey... Pregnancy, childbirth, all that changes your body so whether you like it or not, you have to either live with it or do something about it.

I know I'm not exactly the best person to talk about this, I only gave birth once, what do I know right? Well, not much to be honest, I just hope my writing can somehow help someone who going through the same thing because believe me honey, you're not alone...

All my life I'm always in my comfort zone, I wear the same size since I hit puberty and never really have to deal with excess weight before. I kind of thought that I can lose all my pregnancy weight easily and get back into shape in a jiffy. I couldn't be more wrong obviously!

To tell you the truth it's not really the weight that's bothering me, it's actually how it looks like that making me cringe. When you had c-section, your skin looks completely different than how it used to be. At least when you're pregnant, it's taut and cute but the aftermath is totally a different story~

It took me a while to sum up the courage to see myself in all it's glory. The battle scar, the flabby skin and even the increase bust size scared the hell out of me. I love my son dearly and will do it again in a heartbeat but I wasn't really prepared with the sight that I see.

Very superficial I know, being human, I guess I'm allowed to be a little bit vain. So yes, my self esteem hit rock bottom at that moment. I can't fit into my favorite jeans anymore, I feel insecure to wear anything other than black and I don't want to go out or meet other people unless I really have to.

I gained 10kg during my pregnancy and managed to lose half of it during the confinement period. The other half seems to be taking it sweet time to vanish, still lingering in my body until this day. I tried working out, no-carbs diet, no-sugar diet and detox but looks like the extra 5kg is here to stay.

Thankfully I married a very wise man, instead of feeling repulsive with my body, he seems to love all my curves and imperfections. He encourage me to be comfortable in my own skin too and trying to see things from different perspective.

And that's exactly what I did! Deep in my heart, I knew that I can't have my figure back so I decided to move on and make peace with my new body. I cleared my closet from the clothes that I can't no longer wear and start shopping for new one.

I realized that no matter what sizes you wear, if you know how to style it well, you still gonna rock it anyway! The most important thing is you need to understand your body and pick you outfit accordingly. Go for something that will flatter your silhouette rather than accentuate your flaw.

I document my looks religiously on Instagram with #aynaootd to see how far I've come and I couldn't be any happier! Now I'm so much more in love with my curve and can't wait to experiment with new looks and style.

If you're feeling frustrated or depressed with your post pregnancy body, please don't be because it will get better over time and of course, it also means that you can always shop for more outfits! Take your time and learn to love your curve. After all, it's the home of your child for 9 months, it's definitely beautiful in it's own way. Share with me your thoughts lovelies and until then, have a wonderful weekend ahead, adieu~

6 comments:

  1. You are beutiful inside out ayna, n that's what matter most 😊😙

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    1. Awwww, that's so sweet of you Illy, you're very beautiful inside and out too babe <3 <3 <3

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  2. cayiok2 kak ayna. hope lepas kawin leh maintain body, apatah lagi pas bersalin nnt hehe

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  3. Awwww we all deserve a hug and a husband that understands and accepts that our body changes once we've start having kids. I'm going through the dilemma as well dear Ayna. I used to be active in sports and performance since the day I was in kindergarten, till the day I got married. But somehow once you're married, having kids and being at home things all change. My time is basically taken up doing house chores and putting my full attention to not only my kids, but to also my 3 other nephew and nieces and also my freelance job. So to sum it all up I don't even have time to work out, and most of the time not being able to have my meals at the right time.

    So all this changes the body. My upper arms, tummy, hips and thighs, have all added inches in them. I try to do the best i can to have a lean body, but we're all humans we tend to be tired after a whole days work. And yes I also tend to wear more black or printed materials just to hide away all my flaws. But the cheeks don't lie.. Pakai shawl pun dah kena ada method to tone down the cheeks a bit, not forgetting makeup... Hahaha... Why are women so vain sometimes... I guess we all just want to feel beautiful all the time if possible... Am I right? Hugzzz and love. And sorry for the long comment. You really make me feel like I'm not the only one going through this. ��

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    1. Reading your comment really make my day Melissa, it's actually very comforting to know that there are a lot of women out there going through the same struggle and how we all cope with motherhood and still stay true to our basic needs to feel beautiful. You really did a wonderful job raising your kids and your nephew, nieces. I can't even imagine taking care of so many people and managing a freelance job on my own! A huge hug and kisses to you and all the mothers out there <3 <3 <3

      Don't worry to much about the extra inches dear, I always pretend like it didn't exist anyway, hahahha =D Thank god for makeup and shawl, at least we can create a slimmer illusion without having to hit the gym, phew~ The desire to feel beautiful is quite strong once you have kids I think, I wonder if other women feel the same way, hee~ Thank you for sharing your thoughts Melissa, it always nice to hear others experience =)

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