I never really talk about it before but just like the rest of you out there, I went through some serious body issues throughout my motherhood journey... Pregnancy, childbirth, all that changes your body so whether you like it or not, you have to either live with it or do something about it.
I know I'm not exactly the best person to talk about this, I only gave birth once, what do I know right? Well, not much to be honest, I just hope my writing can somehow help someone who going through the same thing because believe me honey, you're not alone...
All my life I'm always in my comfort zone, I wear the same size since I hit puberty and never really have to deal with excess weight before. I kind of thought that I can lose all my pregnancy weight easily and get back into shape in a jiffy. I couldn't be more wrong obviously!
To tell you the truth it's not really the weight that's bothering me, it's actually how it looks like that making me cringe. When you had c-section, your skin looks completely different than how it used to be. At least when you're pregnant, it's taut and cute but the aftermath is totally a different story~
It took me a while to sum up the courage to see myself in all it's glory. The battle scar, the flabby skin and even the increase bust size scared the hell out of me. I love my son dearly and will do it again in a heartbeat but I wasn't really prepared with the sight that I see.
Very superficial I know, being human, I guess I'm allowed to be a little bit vain. So yes, my self esteem hit rock bottom at that moment. I can't fit into my favorite jeans anymore, I feel insecure to wear anything other than black and I don't want to go out or meet other people unless I really have to.
I gained 10kg during my pregnancy and managed to lose half of it during the confinement period. The other half seems to be taking it sweet time to vanish, still lingering in my body until this day. I tried working out, no-carbs diet, no-sugar diet and detox but looks like the extra 5kg is here to stay.
Thankfully I married a very wise man, instead of feeling repulsive with my body, he seems to love all my curves and imperfections. He encourage me to be comfortable in my own skin too and trying to see things from different perspective.
And that's exactly what I did! Deep in my heart, I knew that I can't have my figure back so I decided to move on and make peace with my new body. I cleared my closet from the clothes that I can't no longer wear and start shopping for new one.
I realized that no matter what sizes you wear, if you know how to style it well, you still gonna rock it anyway! The most important thing is you need to understand your body and pick you outfit accordingly. Go for something that will flatter your silhouette rather than accentuate your flaw.
I document my looks religiously on Instagram with #aynaootd to see how far I've come and I couldn't be any happier! Now I'm so much more in love with my curve and can't wait to experiment with new looks and style.
If you're feeling frustrated or depressed with your post pregnancy body, please don't be because it will get better over time and of course, it also means that you can always shop for more outfits! Take your time and learn to love your curve. After all, it's the home of your child for 9 months, it's definitely beautiful in it's own way. Share with me your thoughts lovelies and until then, have a wonderful weekend ahead, adieu~