Surviving Motherhood : The Guilt Trip

My wonderful mother with my little prince, Ammaar Zahran

One of the most challenging thing that I never thought I'll have to deal with when it comes to motherhood is actually the guilt trip... It's not easy to juggle between your work, family, friends, your passion and your study, sometimes I'll start questioning whether I'm a good mother for still wanting to do all these even when I know I have a little one who clearly needs my undivided attention. I feel guilty when I have to leave my son to work everyday, I feel guilty when I spend my time with my friends every now and then, I feel guilty when I have to attend my classes on weekend, in fact I even feel guilty when I'm buying something for myself instead of him!

I believe every mothers will go through this dilemma as well and think it's perfectly healthy to feel that way. I do feel a little frustrated at the beginning but after a deep talk with my mom couple of weeks ago, I finally see it from different perspective. My mom is the best multitasker I ever seen, she basically raised me and my 6 other siblings while managing our home and her business like a pro! I wish I can be at least half as good as her and rocking motherhood effortlessly but I still have a long way to go... Here I'm gonna list down some of the tips given by mom which help me tremendously, who knows it can do some good to ease your guilt too =)

NOBODY'S PERFECT

There's no such thing as perfect mother, you can sacrifice every single thing but will still came up short in some other ways because we human, is not perfect and never will be! Don't be so hard on yourself and crave for perfection, it's not always rainbows and sunshine in the mommysphere, there are bound to be some tough times too and the sooner you come terms to that, the better your motherhood journey going to be. And yes, being a mother is a never ending learning process too so you'll be surprised at how many things you'll discovered along the way. We all learn from mistakes but don't forget to get yourself up after that!

BALANCING ACT

It's okay to put yourself first once in a while. If you're not happy, how can you expect your child to be happy, right? Mothers are not machines, we do need other things in life too. It can be career, hobbies or companionship. If wanting all that is considered selfish by society, isn't dropping everything for the sake of motherhood is an equally selfish act too? It's all about moderation, how you balance everything in your life so that everyone you love won't be left behind. For example when I'm around my son, I'll make sure he knows he can have me all for himself. It's not the quantity that matters but the quality time you spend with your family.

SUPPORT SYSTEM

Motherhood is not a one lady kind of show, you're going to need a lot of support from your family and friends from time to time because honestly, you're not blessed with any amazing superpower to do everything on your own! Don't be afraid to ask for help, it's what normal people do when they have too much on their plate anyway. I know some of the mothers out there can be mean too so build a strong support system around your non-judgemental friends who can laugh it all with you instead of criticizing your ways of parenting. I'm so lucky to have a supportive husband who completely understand my mission and vision, my family who love my son unconditionally and take a good care of him while I'm at work everyday and of course my close friends who didn't judge and never failed to put a smile on my face whenever I need a cheering up squad!

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

Yes, you'll feel guilty if you can't be with your child 24/7 but it didn't mean you'll be less of a mom if you send your kids to nursery or hired someone to take care of them. Every mother want the best for their children unfortunately not all of us have the luxury to be a stay at home mom. As long as you showered your kids with unconditional love and attention, you don't have to feel guilty about choosing work or other things in life. It's extremely important to show how much you care and happy to be with them whenever you're together because after all, all they need and what you need is to love and be loved =)

At the end of the day, it's all come down to how you want to be remembered by your kids. Don't let the guilt dictate how you live your life, prioritize your priority and try to make the best of every situation. You can try twisting and turns yourself in 5 different direction if you want to but is it gonna be worth it? Only you can answer all that. Share with me about your guilt trip lovelies, I know every mom must have their experience about it too =) Until we meet again, I guess it's not too late to wish Happy Mother's Day to all fabulous mothers out there, keep on spreading the love and rocking the world my fellow mommies, adieu~

** photos courtesy of  IQstudio.my **

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