It's true, nothing breaks a mother's heart more than seeing her child in pain. I thought I'm one tough cookie but when I saw my son putting up a brave face while the doctor insert the needle on his hand, I cried like a baby... In fact I'm still crying whenever I'm thinking of that moment, how my little baby try to comfort his weepy mommy with his reassuring gaze, that's without a doubt a super heroic move in my book T_T
Ammaar was and still in on and off feverish state for more than a week now so we decided to do a blood test after 2 doctors visit and 2 antibiotic cycles didn't improve his condition. The result unfortunately didn't looks as promising with his high white blood cells count and we're left with no other choice but to get him to the hospital instead.
Despite my very best effort to avoid any hospital admission, Ammaar is warded for further screening and to eliminate any other possibilities. This is his first hospital visit since his birth and I hope will be his last one too. Alhamdulillah, he seems to be adapting very well to the environment here which making me feels slightly relieve.
Unlike his previous fever episode which subsides quickly, this one looks very hard to shake it off. Ammaar was given a stronger antibiotics by the doctor and will be supervise for a few more days to see how his body reacting to the new meds.
Eventhough I have Ammaar under the hands of experts, I'm still freaking out everytime his temperature rise. I guess that comes hand in hand with being a mother, we worried about everything and anything!
So here I'm, pouring my heart out in a middle of pediatric ward while looking at the love of my life sleeping profile. Just like chocolate to some of you, writing always have the calming effect on me and I really need that a lot right now! It's been a very long weekend for both me and my husband but it puts everything into perspective that there's no other thing that's more important than seeing your loved one healthy and happy.
As for now, Ammaar is recovering slowly and I hope he will be his cheeky self back soon, Insyallah. Until we meet again, take a very good care of yourself lovelies and it would definitely make my day if you can keep Ammaar's health and well being in your thoughts and prayers too, adieu~